How to make a complaint at the Club

The Club ZerØ Nine is famous for its sympathetic view of any maid wishing to make a formal complaint.

Each of the wonderful ladies pictured here is renowned for her empathy when listening to the incessant, self-obsessed jabbering of a whining, churlish maid.


In the far left picture the Three Sisters: Marcia, Rica and Richel the Bitch. In the centre: Dietta from Slovenia and finally on the right is Ritka whose hobbies include training puppies.


Indeed, famously, Miss Hall has said, no maid’s complaint is too small. All maids are dealt with in a speedy response which helps them quickly understand why they were mistaken in their views.

The procedure has hardly changed since the Club first opened its doors. First a maid fills out the form entitled ‘Another self pitying gripe from an airhead.’ The maid need not trouble herself excessively. A short paragraph on her dissatisfaction will suffice. Maids are not considered mentally well equipped to write reams and reams on any subject other than shoe shopping.

From left to right: Domina from Ireland, Selina who believes it is rude for a maid to talk back and finally Ritsuko banned from the KGB for being too cruel to enemies of the State


A dominant will then book a Period of Correction for the maid who simply brings her copy of the form to the appointed office at the correct time.

Outside the office a full mouth gag is supplied, along with a set of army handcuffs. Once the maid has gagged herself and secured her wrists behind her back she will be summoned in by one of the available dominants.

Suffice to say that in the space of twenty minutes the maid appreciates her original whinge was entirely mistaken and will make a video recording of her saying so for future reference by their owners.

On the left is Pink Domina locking her favourite cell. In the middle is Angry April one of the hard working teachers at the Club. On the right is Madam Fear who has dedicated her life to improving the manners of maids.


These tearful videos prove an excellent diversion for dominants at the Christmas Party.

So successful is Club ZerØ Nine at dealing with complaints that no maid has ever made a second written grievance. How about that?




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